I was a bit shocked last week when Von closed GAME OVER after four and a half years. It is one of the blogs I’ve read and commented on since the beginning of Warp Signal. But I understand why he’s made that choice, and I’ve actually been thinking something similar was in order for me over the last couple of months. After a few days consideration, I’ve decided to follow his example.
Blogs come and go, and honestly the only reason I maintain this one at all is because whenever I think of closing it, I remember what my original mission was: to serve as a record of my gaming exploits.
The thing is, I’ve even forgotten why I wanted to do that in the first place. Because I could, maybe? My best guess is that it was because I needed a creative writing outlet away from my PhD, and gaming was my main creative outlet at the time. It has been for most of my life, and in the times when I was working in mind-numbing or isolating jobs, online conversations about gaming were my main respite. I have a very active mind, as do most bloggers I presume (otherwise where would they find the time?), and I had a pretty pervasive presence on several forums over the years before I started blogging.
Now, for the first time, I find myself in a situation where I’m not gaming much at all and couldn’t even if I wanted to. Therefore gaming is no longer my creative outlet, and thus my blog is sputtering to a halt. It turns out that PhDs are really hard, and you slog away with not much to show for it for a long time. It is draining beyond any academic work I have done before. I also have a part-time job and a one year old who is allergic to sleeping through the night. I have almost no time for playing games, and so the raw fuel of any gaming blog is in short supply for me. I still need a creative outlet to escape my academic work, but I have taken up something that requires nothing but alone time: fiction writing. It’s the only thing I seem to be able to sustain at the moment in the face of other demands.
So, long story short: no gaming = no thinking about gaming = no blogging. Even when I do game, I no longer see any value in recording what I do for posterity. That seems like the sort of thing a person does when they have creative energy to burn that is not being used up by anything else. And quite frankly that was me, but now is not.
For a while there I was running on the residual fuel of past gaming, or feeding off the community, but that’s not good enough. It’s not viable long term, so now I guess I’m calling it a day. I haven’t been happy with the standard of my blog lately anyway. If I actually do get a game in I might put it up, but don’t count on it. I’ll most likely just play and not bother to tell the world about it. And there’s nothing wrong with that, right?
I do have some loose ends to tie up, such as the Invasion of St. Arkham campaign and the Ratling project, so I’ll probably pop back in to update those if they ever eventuate. Expect to see me blathering away on other blogs too, certainly less sporadically than I have been.
Until then, I have a small request. If you have a blog linked to mine, or a network, I ask only that you leave my blog on your rolls in case I return. I know first-hand how easy it is to get a bit too neat about it all and cull blogs that fade away, but really there’s no reason to – there’ll always be someone who hasn’t read them before. And if I do post something, I want my old friends to know about it.
Cheers, and thanks for reading.